It's been four months since I last posted anything to this blog.
unhealthy thinking indeed.
I'm back at it. Just for me. To remember where I am, why I am here, why all this matters. In the past four months, since July when I saw the President speak, things have changed and they havent changed. Hm, scratch that last sentence because I didn't even say anything. Empty words. Politician words. That's one thing I now understand after 3 semesters studying public policy here in DC. Wait, scratch that again, while I'm studying policy, I'm really just learning how to cut everything apart and analyze everything objectively. Which isn't always very fun. No room for opinions here, that's politics. No room for personal ideologies, that's politics too. Just numbers and peer-reviewed journals. But then again, even numbers can be biased. I've learned that stats and economics are simply tools. Every peer-reviewed article has another refuting it. And another refuting that. The fucked up thing is...nobody is right.
But nobody is wrong, either. That's what they're trying teach us. To make your arguments, you have to understand the other side. As Professor Dietz [NSA/CIA guy, who has probably been the most interesting prof I've had here at Mason] has said, you do not want to be that guy, the one sitting behind whatever superior when a questions arises that you/your superior hadn't prepared for. But in understanding the other side, you just become jaded with the whole process and realize that you'll never convince anyone of anything because everything is relative! Einstein even proved that! So what is and what isn't? What is right and what is wrong?
I've learned that I still carry with me strong opinions...but I also realize that every opinion I have has a counter, and every counter is also valid. Fuck. That means none of us are right or wrong. It's all relative. Even the concepts of equity and equality are subjective. And that's why shit doesn't get done here in DC. Because it's so much easier to just hunker down in your cave of "my truth" and defend it to the end. Forget understanding the other side, MY side is the right one, and hence, the only one that matters. That cave is a good place to be. especially if you can convince others to hunker down in there with you. But the other side of the aisle is always thinking the same god damned thing. And as of 6:43pm on Saturday, November 12th, I realize that that is the essence of politics.
Politics drive policy. Simple as that. Posturing. Rhetoric. All of it is useless in policy, worth its weight in gold when re-election comes around. Many think it should be the other way around. In fact, you would think it would be the other way around. But that's just no fun and that also leaves no place for $$$ to enter the picture. No inflammatory language to throw at the other party. Admitting, "oh, I understand your point" is fantastic for policymaking but toxic for politics. The policy guy/girl is never right because he/she knows there is no Truth (capital T). There is always a counter. And that's just terrible politics. Why go grey when there's black and white?
Oh, first world problems.
At the end of the day though, I still want to understand all sides. It matters. Maybe not for practical reasons, but for personal ones. Although I'll never understand why God asked Herman Cain to run for president.
Someone please provide the counter-argument to my rant. I know it's out there.
